I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
