Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
