Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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