You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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