I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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