he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
