TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
