Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
