yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
