If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
