If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
