I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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