bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize