My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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