i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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