question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
