problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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