I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
