kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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