Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
