i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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