lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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