You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
