last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
