fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
