He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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