If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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