you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
