Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
