I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
