is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
