is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
