Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I skipped work to stalk him.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
