I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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