3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize