All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's shark week go big or go home
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
