I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
