The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can I color on your dick again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
