you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
