I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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