i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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