He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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