Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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