just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
