i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Actions speak louder than pants.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
