I want to walk on stilts...naked
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
