your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
