some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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