Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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