I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
