You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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