1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Less talking, more tequila
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
