i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
