In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
