So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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