I accidentally had phone sex last night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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