Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
