yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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