Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think my vagina is haunted
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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