She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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