erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
