conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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