i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
