that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
