So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize