Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
