I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
