Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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